If the shoe doesn't fit: The story behind my son wearing a high heel to school (It's "Finding the Funny" time, too!)
We are currently living out of suitcases, since our house-hunting saga still continues. The boys' shoes are either in a box in the room they share for now or in the car. Most of the time, they're in the car. This is because I will tell them to take off their shoes before going into a new house. They usually decide to just exit the car without shoes to save themselves the hassle of taking them off at the front doors of all of these houses. They look like Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. It doesn't help that I make them wear cut-off shorts, straw hats and chew the end of a stalk of grass all day.
The shoes being in the car actually saves us a step when it is time to get ready for school, though. "Don't worry about your shoes, boys! They're in the car!" I say in the morning as we run out the door.
So, we grab socks, walk outside, get in the car and they finish the last step of the process as we speed down the road to the school that is now twice as far away as it used to be. Yeah, usually, it's not a problem.
Except for that one time when my 7-year-old son said he didn't have any shoes. We were stuck in the middle of several blinking red lights and had no time to turn around to go back to my sister and brother-in-law's house to find them. I thought we'd solve that problem by quickly ducking into Target for shoes. Only...Target wasn't open because it was 7:25 and my brain wasn't working at the time to figure it out that red shirts and khaki pants weren't walking around there yet. We sped over to Wal-Mart, ran inside, went alllllllllllllllllllll the way to the back and shoved some $10 shoes on his feet before paying and screeching to a halt in front of the school.
So, yeah, except for that time, it hasn't been a problem.
Until this Monday.
"Mom, I can only find one of my shoes!" my 7-year-old says to me as we are making our way down the road with only a few minutes to spare before he's late.
"It has to be in here. Your other shoes has to be in here."
"It's not."
"Look under the seat."
"It's not there! I looked. It's not there!"
"We are going to be at your school in 5 minutes. You have to find your other shoe. It's in here somewhere."
"It's not, Mom! It's not!"
"Well, wear sandals then. Your sandals are right here."
"We can't wear sandals. We have to wear tennis shoes."
*Deep sighs* "Well, I guess you are going to have to wear your brother's shoe. It looks just like yours."
"I can't wear his shoe! He's only 4!"
"What are you going to do then? We don't have time to go buy more shoes right now!"
So, he shoves his large foot in his brother's smaller shoe, gets his lunch box and slowly makes his way through the front door before the tardy bell rings hobbling like an old man.
While pulling around into the parking lot, I have flashbacks to when my mom chased me around the house to make sure I remembered all of my drill team stuff before a football game. "Do you have your bobby pins? Your lipstick? Your seat cushion? Your white shoe polish? Your..."
I put the SUV into park, jump out and find his other shoe within seconds.
I quickly put on some lipstick and mascara so I don't make all the kids cry and walk into the school holding one shoe in my hand. (A friend asked me the next day, "Why were you walking into the school with one shoe in your hand?" No one was supposed to see me!) I have to stand in line behind the ton of kids that are waiting for their tardy slip while thinking about my second grader in his classroom wearing his preschool brother's shoe. When it's finally my turn, I let the secretary know why I'm there.
She calls his teacher and as loudly as she possibly can says,
"MS. SMITH? CAN YOU SEND [INSERT KELLEY'S SON'S NAME HERE] UP TO THE FRONT OFFICE? HE'S WEARING HIS BROTHER'S SHOE."
A few moments later, he's walking around the corner looking like he's wearing one regular shoe and a high heel. His foot is hanging waaaaaaaaaay out of the other shoe. I thought he was able to at least shove his foot inside it, but I guess I was wrong. It took him the better part of a year to make his way down the hallway.
We finally swap shoes and I make him give me a hug since we left on "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR OTHER SHOE!" terms.
Because it was ugly.
And I feel bad.
And, really, I'm only getting mad at myself. He's just like me.
Poor thing.
#2 - You Aren't Going to Steal My Shoes Are you? Point Counter-Point Point Point
#3 - The Camel Toe Wars HouseTalkN
#4 - I Show You My Bad Clothes Days You Show Me Yours Let Me Start By Saying...
#5 - Secret Secrets Paige Kellerman
The shoes being in the car actually saves us a step when it is time to get ready for school, though. "Don't worry about your shoes, boys! They're in the car!" I say in the morning as we run out the door.
So, we grab socks, walk outside, get in the car and they finish the last step of the process as we speed down the road to the school that is now twice as far away as it used to be. Yeah, usually, it's not a problem.
Except for that one time when my 7-year-old son said he didn't have any shoes. We were stuck in the middle of several blinking red lights and had no time to turn around to go back to my sister and brother-in-law's house to find them. I thought we'd solve that problem by quickly ducking into Target for shoes. Only...Target wasn't open because it was 7:25 and my brain wasn't working at the time to figure it out that red shirts and khaki pants weren't walking around there yet. We sped over to Wal-Mart, ran inside, went alllllllllllllllllllll the way to the back and shoved some $10 shoes on his feet before paying and screeching to a halt in front of the school.
So, yeah, except for that time, it hasn't been a problem.
Until this Monday.
"Mom, I can only find one of my shoes!" my 7-year-old says to me as we are making our way down the road with only a few minutes to spare before he's late.
"It has to be in here. Your other shoes has to be in here."
"It's not."
"Look under the seat."
"It's not there! I looked. It's not there!"
"We are going to be at your school in 5 minutes. You have to find your other shoe. It's in here somewhere."
"It's not, Mom! It's not!"
"Well, wear sandals then. Your sandals are right here."
"We can't wear sandals. We have to wear tennis shoes."
*Deep sighs* "Well, I guess you are going to have to wear your brother's shoe. It looks just like yours."
"I can't wear his shoe! He's only 4!"
"What are you going to do then? We don't have time to go buy more shoes right now!"
So, he shoves his large foot in his brother's smaller shoe, gets his lunch box and slowly makes his way through the front door before the tardy bell rings hobbling like an old man.
 |
| NOT MY SON'S FEET. Lars Christensen/istock Photo |
I put the SUV into park, jump out and find his other shoe within seconds.
I quickly put on some lipstick and mascara so I don't make all the kids cry and walk into the school holding one shoe in my hand. (A friend asked me the next day, "Why were you walking into the school with one shoe in your hand?" No one was supposed to see me!) I have to stand in line behind the ton of kids that are waiting for their tardy slip while thinking about my second grader in his classroom wearing his preschool brother's shoe. When it's finally my turn, I let the secretary know why I'm there.
She calls his teacher and as loudly as she possibly can says,
"MS. SMITH? CAN YOU SEND [INSERT KELLEY'S SON'S NAME HERE] UP TO THE FRONT OFFICE? HE'S WEARING HIS BROTHER'S SHOE."
A few moments later, he's walking around the corner looking like he's wearing one regular shoe and a high heel. His foot is hanging waaaaaaaaaay out of the other shoe. I thought he was able to at least shove his foot inside it, but I guess I was wrong. It took him the better part of a year to make his way down the hallway.
We finally swap shoes and I make him give me a hug since we left on "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR OTHER SHOE!" terms.
Because it was ugly.
And I feel bad.
And, really, I'm only getting mad at myself. He's just like me.
Poor thing.
_____________________________________
It's "Finding the Funny" time! Most of you know what to do, but for the newbies- just link up a new or old humorous post you have written and share it with us below!
This is an especially exciting day here at Finding the Funny because it's the week of Anna's of My Life and Kids e-book debut. Yay! Her e-book (for only $3.99!!) is called 75 Ways To Have More Fun at Home. I think all of us could use more tips for having fun at home, right? I know I could. Counting beans is only fun for so long. The cool thing about her book is that you can order a digital version for your Kindle, iPad or iPhone OR you can order a PDF file of it and print it out instantly. Love that option! Click here to learn her secrets!
This is an especially exciting day here at Finding the Funny because it's the week of Anna's of My Life and Kids e-book debut. Yay! Her e-book (for only $3.99!!) is called 75 Ways To Have More Fun at Home. I think all of us could use more tips for having fun at home, right? I know I could. Counting beans is only fun for so long. The cool thing about her book is that you can order a digital version for your Kindle, iPad or iPhone OR you can order a PDF file of it and print it out instantly. Love that option! Click here to learn her secrets!
Most Clicked Links from Last Week
#1 - How to be the Perfect Wife Katy in a Corner#2 - You Aren't Going to Steal My Shoes Are you? Point Counter-Point Point Point
#3 - The Camel Toe Wars HouseTalkN
#4 - I Show You My Bad Clothes Days You Show Me Yours Let Me Start By Saying...
#5 - Secret Secrets Paige Kellerman