Are you fancy?

Take a quick glance to your right.  See the Lancome ad? Many times, websites aren't supposed to direct readers to interact with ads, but it is different in this case.  So, here's the deal: Lancome has an "age defying" product, ahem, serum, called Genifique that is supposed to make one appear more youthful within 7 days.  Now, I haven't tried the product yet, but, lawduhmercy, I could use the help.  I'm climbing the age ladder, youknowwhatimean?  Climbing. It.  Just finished dyeing the gray out of my hair tonight with a henna solution (I FINALLY found something I can use that doesn't produce an allergic reaction.)  If I live to be 100, well then, I haven't quite made it to the middle rung, but I'm on my way.  So, anyway, once you click on the Lancome picture, it will give you the option to fill out a super short form, then it will e-mail you a "Free 7-Day Sample of Genifique" coupon that you will take to a participating Lancome counter by March 31st.  Within seconds, the free sample is yours and the fountain of youth is in the very palm of your hands.  Take that, Ponce de Leon!

But, the REAL reason I am planning to claim my Lancome prize later this week?

The chance to walk up to the Lancome counter.

The chance to feel fancy.

When I think of fancy, Meredith from "The Office" pops
into my head right away.  Yours, too?  No?

I have a REALLY fancy friend.  She's super fancy.  I have known her since we were little and she was even fancy then.  She is a part of exclusive clubs, meets fancy people, says words like "fantastic" and always dresses...fancy.  No casual days with this one.

I'm not fancy.  I like to dress up, but my personality isn't fancy. 

So, since I'm not fancy, I have a few questions about that Lancome counter:  What should I wear??  What does one wear when they approach the Lancome counter??  Do I need to get dressed up?  Should I keep my sunglasses once inside?  Do I waltz to the counter?  Or is it better to appear aloof?  Should I wear all black? 
At one time, I was all about the fancy make-up counters.  Back when I paid for nothing but make-up and Richard Marx tapes...

Hold on.  I said Richard Marx.  Care if I take a quick Richard Marx break? 

"All the time...all the tiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiime..."

Oh, wow.  Didn't realize you were listening to me.  How humiliating. Can you tell I've been crying happy tears?

*Dries happy tears and composes herself.*

Yes, at one time, I went to the Foley's/Macy's/Dillard's of the malls and strutted up to the Clinique counter for some "Raisin" lipstick or approached the Borghese counter for some of their yummy smelling foundation.  During my Clinique days, I usually had my mom, sister, aunt and cousin with me.  We all had our Clinique days going on, but THEY WEREN'T GOING ON IF WE WEREN'T GETTING SOMETHING FREE.  You better believe that.  We plotted our make-up buying at the exact moment Clinique was giving away their little prize pack with that free yellow moisturizer, some blush that you'd never wear, a tube of mascara the size of a Tic Tac and..maybe a sponge or something? 

Those make-up days went out the window once I had other things to pay for with my money.  There were no Borghese counter trips in college.  Cover Girl, Maybelline and, if I was feeling extra fancy inside Walgreens, Neutrogena, became my new best friends.  I am pretty sure I looked the same B.E.M.U. and A.E.M.U. (E.M.U. = expensive make-up and not to be confused with the largest native bird to Australia that, unfortunately, must ingest shards of glass or stones to assist in digestion.  Dadgonnit, now I'm crying over the emu. First it was Richard Marx and now it's the dadgum emu. Give me a minute.)

[A minute.]

There was a time a couple of years ago when I approached the Chanel counter and went to an Aveda store to get my make-up done for events related to my sister's wedding. I remember the Chanel lady was trying to sell me some eye shadow brushes made of unicorn hair or something for a sweet price of all-my-life's-savings. I think I bought some mascara after she did my make-up. I had to buy something.  Really, if Norma at Walgreens at the little lone check-out counter near the Jean Nate and Revlon products had torn open some of the paper packaging of the make-up products, I would've probably gone there first for my pre-event make-up session.  "COME OWN OVA HEEYER!!  I'LL GETCHU FIXED RAHT UP.  Whatchu like? Blue or pink eye shaduh?" is maybe how Norma would've started her pitch.  I'd probably would've bought Norma an Arizona Iced Tea and a Lunchable from the refrigerated section of the store after we were finished as a way to say thanks.  I bet I would've liked Norma...

I miss Norma.

Anyway, all of these little side stories bring me back to Lancome and that Genifique coupon.  I have already printed it out.  Now, I just have to pick out the right outfit and figure out how to approach the counter without looking like I'm wearing a sign that says, "I BUY MY MAKE-UP FROM CVS!!"  I need to try to appear sophisticated!  I have got to appear LEGIT!  Dingdangit, now I'm crying nervous tears.

Maybe I'll ask Lancome about waterproof mascara, too.

(You are one of those fancy make-up girls, aren't you?  Men?  How about you?)