Ms. Pac-Man & Me
Oh, Keeeeeeeelllllllllllleeeeeeeeeey, getchu a KWAAATTTTTUHHHH!! Put your fork down (for all of our sakes) and come and plaaaaaaaaaaaay meeeee!!!!
I never have quarters. I hardly ever have cash. The moment I realize that I am lacking the fuel for my addiction, sweat begins to bead along my forehead. It is absolutely possible that I may grab a young toddler or elderly male by the shirt collar and demand that they empty their pockets at time like that.
I am not that addicted...
Now, you may not know it, but Ms. Pac-Man talks to me. I haven't seen anyone else talking at the Ms. Pac-Man table when I've stood impatiently by waiting for them to DIE so I can have a turn. Perhaps the two of us have a special relationship. It is a bit dysfunctional unfortunately. If I could put that arcade table in the back of my SUV, I would take the two of us to counseling. The following is a typical conversation between the two of us:
ME: Cram those pellets in your mouth and do it fast!HER: Can't you (CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP) pass the (CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP) salt and pep(CHOMP)per??ME: [In my most serious tone] "I do not have(GO GET THAT GHOST!!!) time to pass the (CAN'T YOU SEE THE STRAWBERRY?!?!) salt and pepper (GO GET THAT DANG PRETZEL!!). If you will cooperate, soon the pellets will be cherry-flavored.HER: These white pellets (CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP) are more than I can take! I don't want to eat anymore!!!!!!!!!!ME: Be happy you have something to eat! Mario, Luigi and Q-bert would give their right arm for a few bites of bland pellets (QUIT YOUR LOLLYGAGGING!!).
I always feel horrible when she starts spinning in a circle to the sound of "booo, boooo, booooo". I miss her terribly until I manage to find another quarter.
He scored 80,000+.
I managed to get that big arcade table into the front seat.