My Gas Pump Thoughts

I am noticing that in some blogs the children get code names.  I am all about protecting my children.  Oh, would you hold on a second?

Would you take your knife set into the other room?  I am having a hard time concentrating on my blog here!  Geez Louise!

Sorry about that.  Anyway, what I was saying was that I care about protecting my children very much.  Of course I do!  Oh, for cryin' out loud.  Could you hold on one more second?

If you are going to drink the Lysol, could you at least wear a bib??  I just washed that shirt! 

I WILL get this thought out.  No matter what anyone else (CPS) tells you, I DO care about my children and I DO want them to be safe.  What you all don't know is that the other names I used for my sons in previous posts WERE the code names!  However, I have grown extremely tired of all of that code name business, so I am just going to lay it to you straight.  My 5-year-old's REAL name is Charlie Pride and our 2-year-old's REAL name is Bocephus.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about gas stations.  We all have to go there every week.  If you are like me, you like to play the "how low can you go" game.  I make it my goal each week to coast in to the Shell station on fumes.  Sometimes the fumes get me a few yards from the tanks.  That's when Charlie Pride & Bocephus have to get out and give it a little push.  I sure am glad I had boys...  There are always the same few thoughts that hit me when I am at the gas station that I thought I'd share with you.

• This tank better work because I do NOT want to walk into that store.  What would I do with Charlie Pride & Bocephus?  You didn't just say get them out of the car seats, did you?  I do not like walking inside the stinkin' store, man!  I went to a gas station today that had NO options for credit card payment at the pump.  They had a place where you could drop Chuck E. Cheese tokens, but no credit card slots.  Ridiculous!  I had to WALK IN (hello!!) and pay Mr. Gas Man behind the counter.  Every second that I am in a convenience store is a second off my life.  My anxiety levels skyrocket.  Is that blind 4-year-old girl going to pull a gat?  Well, is she?!?!?!  You better believe I (politely) asked Mr. Gas Man why  there were no credit card slots on the (I've bet you got) gas tanks.  He told me it was because most of his (illegal) clientele did not have bank accounts, credit cards, etc. and only paid with cash.  That was the wrong thing to say to this lady!  I was so furious that I...thanked him for the $40 worth of (who's got) gas and got back in my car. 

• I could use a little help with the ice. Twice now I have frequented a nearby (in)convenience store for bags of ice. The first time I needed ice for a picnic & the second time I needed ice for Bocephus's 2nd birthday party. Both times I bought about 8 bags of ice and was either by myself or only had Charlie Pride with me. I always overestimate how much ice I need. This is never a real problem as the left over ice always gets put to good use (watering a dirt patch, quenching a trash can's thirst, etc.). Heaving 8 bags of ice to the counter and then to the car is a big job for Charlie Pride and me! We leave behind ice chunks, water puddles and lawsuits waiting to happen because that man behind the counter can't quit selling cigarettes and beer for a second. I felt horrible that they sent this *lady out to help. She seemed happy about it, though.  She was a little slow, though...
  

• No, I don't want a car wash, but...  I wish the questions were more along the lines of these:
• Are you paying with cash?
• Are you paying with a credit/debit card?
• Could these nice ladies behind the gas tank do your nails?
• Would you like a bag of chips?
• Do you need a Chai Tea Frappucino from Starbucks?
• Every time I think/talk about "Starbucks" now, I hear Ludacris saying "She got me going crazy.  Oh, I was star-struck.  She woke me up daily- don't need no Starbucks!"  in Justin Bieber's "Baby Baby" video.  Hahahahaha!!  Love it.  That's why I linked it.  I'm 13 inside.  What can I say?
• Would you like some Hubba Bubba?
• Could you use a 3-liter of Big Red?
• AND THEN...Do you need a car wash?

It's always the same questions from that boring gas tank.  He always wants to talk about credit cards, debit cards & car washes.  Get a personality!  Zzzzzzzz.....

• Why are they selling fried chicken?  I realize that people like to eat fried chicken on the go, but can't you stop by KFC or Hartz?  (KFC vs. Hartz was a hotly debated topic on one of my recent Facebook posts.  I will let it go here...  Breathing in deep...)  Why do you want to eat chicken fried in motor oil?  Although my picture isn't advertising fried chicken, it is advertising cigarettes, then motor oil, THEN sandwiches.  Would you like Diesel, cigarette ashes or mustard with your ham and cheese?

I have a lot more thoughts at the gas station.  It usually isn't about the gas prices, which is so irresponsible of me.  If I weren't coasting on fumes, I'd have more choices.  Charlie Pride & Bocephus can only push the car so far before they get worn out. 

All this gas station talk reminds me of the debate my best friend and I used to have growing up.  She said "I need to gas up" when her car was running low on fumes and I would say "I need gas".  What do you say? 


*That nice lady's picture is from http://www.maggiesmetawatershed.blogspot.com/.