"All The Single Daddies": Beyonce's Song For All The Consciously Uncoupled Dads Out There

By now, you've heard that Gwyneth and Chris have "consciously uncoupled". It is all over Twitter. Here are a couple of my favorite tweets about it, written by Gloria Fallon:

Jokes aside, conscious uncoupling is a sad thing, especially for the kids, of course. Did you know that Beyonce sang a song about it once? She wrote it for the common dad, though. Not for Coldplay Chris. I'm sure he's a great dad, but his kids are older than the ones in this song. Still, I thought it was a good time to re-release it. The Conscious Uncoupled Dads out there may need a boost.

(Also, I must admit, I wrote this song for Beyonce a couple of years ago. I did, I did. Still waiting to hear back from her people. It has been over 24 months since our last contact, so I'm sure they'll call any day now. Fingers crossed it goes on her next CD!)


All the single daddies (7x)

Now hold your kids up!

Up in the tub, the bubbles bubblin' up
You're washing your kids while you sing 
You decided to dip, but baby hit her lip
Cuz her brother was playing like he was in the sea
You're up on him, tell him "Can't you see?"
You tell him to pay closer attention
He cried some tears, you remember he's only 3 years
Then he said "Daddy, don't be mad at me!"

Then you remembered if they bump it, you needa put some cream on it
If they got a rash then you always put some cream on it
Never can get mad if you see red bumps on 'em
Just gotta remember, you needa put some cream on it.

wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh x2

You got the phone to your lips, a baby on your hips
Your 3 year-old holdin' tight to your Daddy jeans
They're acting up, you put Coke in their sippy cups
You couldn't care less what others think
You need no permission, we heard you mention
"This Daddy's in charge of the kitchen!"
You make your kid take his turn
Tell him now he's gonna learn
"What it really feels like to obey me!"

Then you remembered if they bump it, you needa put some cream on it
If they got a rash then you always put some cream on it
Never can get mad if you see red bumps on 'em
Just gotta remember, you needa put some cream on it.

You don't care about the things of this world
You just love your boy and your girl
Your love is what they prefer, what they deserve
But, sometimes you wish they'd pick up more toys like Woody
And Buzz Lightyear with his "to infinity and beyond!!"
Because it's hard to do EVERYTHING with your two arms
You tell them "This is what I WANT
If you don’t clean, you’ll go to your room  alone
And like a ghost, your toys’ll be gone."

All the single daddies (7x)
Now hold your kids up!

woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh 
oh oh oh 2x