Top 8 Reasons I Don't Participate in Black Friday

#1 I like to sleep.

#2 I would have to pee as soon as I got into this line and for every 30 minutes after that due to being so anxious and nervous over losing my place in line if I step out of it to pee.  Plus, I'd have only two options: that grassy hill or the behind the bumper of that white VW bug...or that tan SUV...or maybe by the shoes of the lady in the red sweatshirt...

#3 I don't need jeans that bad.  Let these ladies have their pick of the Lee litter...and let that man in the orange hat have that turkey fryer to himself.

#4 I'd stand in that blasted line for HOURS, get my pinky toe crushed by a big, sweaty stranger and nearly die of thirst only to have that man hand the very last coveted flippin' Big Foot to the lady next to me.

#5 No, ma'am.  I am not a fan of hyperventilation and I feel it coming on...right now...heeheeheeheehee...

#6 I enjoy it when my 2-year-old and 6-year-old sons cry and cry and wail and moan and cry and cry like newborns starved of milk when they realize the toy they've wanted their entire long, long lives could not be secured because I did not participate in Black Friday
#7 I probably would run into the store like these crazy nutcases, reach the back at record speed, forget what I came in there to buy in all the chaos, slow to a relaxed stroll and feel stupid for getting up so early just to peruse the shampoo and conditioner aisle.

#8 I like to sleep.

Were you out there?
Tell us, tell us...what was it like?