#LetsTalkBums, Shall We?

So, I'm writing about toilet paper because, honestly, is there a more exciting topic out there? There absolutely is not. People care about toilet paper. Just think about how much you and toilet paper are intertwined.

You + Toilet Paper = 4Ever

The thing is, not all toilet paper is made equally. There are companies out there trying to pass off something as toilet paper when it's thinner than my patience on school days when my kids are supposed to be putting their shoes on and they're playing with Legos. In their pajamas. What I want is toilet paper that can double as my pillow or, when several are bunched together, a mattress for house guests. If the toilet paper doesn't immediately bring to mind quilts, comfort, luxury and Kate Middleton's powder room, you can stuff it and royal flush it. 

I want to feel like I've entered a day spa every time I go to the restroom.

The toilet paper that reaches those heights and then some is Cottonelle. Cottonelle...oh, lovely, lovely Cottonelle. That tuggable, huggable Cottonelle.

(My mother-in-law is IN LOVE with Cottonelle. When I told her I was taking part in this campaign, she got all excited. She went on for about 6 solid minutes- maybe even 56- about how she loved, loved Cottonelle. She is a Cottonelle fan, let me tell you.)

(That sure would make a great kids' name, right? Cottonelle Anne. You could call her Nelle or even Cottie Anne.)

I think with its luxurious feel, their new slogan should be "If Princess Kate isn't using it yet, she will be". Princess Kate comes to mind for two reasons: 1) Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths and Cottonelle Clean Care Toilet Paper are fit for a princess's derrière and 2) this lady:
She's British!

Her name is Cherry Healy and she came allll the way from England to talk to Americans about their "bums" and specifically about Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths and Cottonelle Clean Care Toilet Paper. And she is funny. If you follow the Cottonelle Facebook page, you can see funny video after funny video of her going up to random strangers and having let's-get-right-to-it discussions about their bums.

So, I decided we should do that here.

Talk about bums.

Have you ever tried those cleansing cloths? Come closer... They're awesome.  We made trying these out a family affair but first we made buying them a family affair. We relaxed like kings on them in the process. Kings on a TP Throne.

When I set the cleansing cloths up on the toilet, my boys just stared at me.

"We are going to use those?"

"Yes, we are going to try them out."

"On our butts?"

"Bums. On our bums."


"Because they'll make us cleaner and we'll feel fresher. We'll all have that fresh feeling. That fresh, clean, fresh feeling."

And we have.

It's been glorious.

In all seriousness, those Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths are quite the treat for your seat. Have you used them? 

If you head over to the Cottonelle Facebook page, you can snag yourself some good coupons and laugh at Cherry Healey's antics. Before this campaign, I never thought of toilet paper as the life of the party. From now on, I'm putting toilet paper in every bathroom of the house. And also? I'm making sure it is Cottonelle Clean Care Toilet Paper and I'm going to throw in those cleansing cloths, too.

People will wonder if they are at my house or Buckingham Palace, I have a feeling.

I also have a feeling I need to change my math equation up there to:
You + Toilet Paper + Cleansing Cloths = 4Ever

*This post is sponsored by Cottonelle but  my words and opinions are my own.*