Summer by the numbers

Y'all.  I am so excited.  Since I am still in Arizona, I asked Wendi Aarons to come hang out in the Break Room today.  WENDI AARONS.  Those familiar with Wendi will know why this is such an honor- the lady is HILARIOUS.  I laugh out loud at her blog on a regular basis (read: every time).  Before she hit it big in the motherhood department, the smarty pants was working in advertising and in the movie business in Los Angeles.  She has written for multiple websites, Parentwise Austin, written some sketch comedy, an unproduced screenplay, writes for Austin Woman Magazine every other month AND contributes regularly over at The Mouthy Housewives.  She also helped to produce the Listen To Your Mother Show in Austin.   See what I mean?  Smarty pants.  She's also lots of fun and nice sometimes.  Okay, all the time.  Well, maybe not all the time.  Keep reading...

Current outside temperature in Texas: 103
Number of days it will remain this temperature in Texas: 103
Number of days since the upstairs A/C went out: 1/2
Amount of swear words uttered since the upstairs A/C went out: 50
Amount of swear words uttered that began with the word "mutha": 50
Number of times the A/C repairman was called: 6
Number of times the A/C repairman's secretary told us to "Keep your pants on, hon": 2
Number of times we told the A/C repairman's secretary to "Keep your own damn pants on, hon": 7
Hours until the mythical A/C repairman will arrive at our house: 24
Hours until we all go insane and maim each other with sharpened Popsicle sticks: 1
Current downstairs temperature: 75
Current upstairs temperature: 95
Odds that a cloud will form on the landing where the cold air and hot air meet: 1 in 100
Odds that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about regarding how clouds form: 1 in 1
Number of little boys who now need to sleep on the downstairs hide-a-bed: 2
Number of times little boys on the hide-a-bed will scream, "He's touching my butt!": 32
Number of times the little boys' dad will scream, "Mommy's touching MY butt!": 1
Number of minutes mommy will glare at daddy for making this inappropriate comment: 3
Bottles of wine needed to get through The A/C Incident of the millenium: 2
Bottles of wine currently in the house: 0
Average speed car will be driven to the liquor store to remedy this problem: 76 mph
Total amount of fine on speeding ticket received for the liquor store flyby: $102.00
Chances that we are all now strongly considering a move to North Dakota: 100%
You see what I mean?  Man, I love Wendi.  If you are not following her already, go HERE to follow her on Twitter and HERE to follow her blog.