7 Reasons My Husband Doesn't Listen To Me

He REALLY, REALLY listens to me sometimes.  However, more often than not, I will bring up an important subject, like how I saw our neighbor at Target, and I can tell none of my words were deposited into his brain bank.  "DID YOU HEAR ME?  I SAID I SAW OUR NEIGHBOR AT TARGET!!!", I'll scream into the stadium-sized loud speaker I bought for my purse.  "Did you say something?", he'll ask.  "You didn't hear ANYTHING I just said?".  I'll ask this last question as I help him get snuggled into the human catapult I bought for him on-line. Then, I just kick myself because it is really MY fault he isn't listening to me.  I should know better than to start a conversation when the time isn't right, such as when...

If my husband fully attends to my story about the sale they were
having on Pepto-Bismol, he probably fears he'll end up like her.

#7: The TV works.
And it doesn't even have to be sports.  He was watching C-Sp...zzzz....excuse me, C-SPAN last night, and I couldn't get him to attend to my story about my new fingernail polish.

#6: There is anything at all lying around with words on it.
I'm hoping I'll get his attention after he reads the ingredients in that water bottle...

#5: There is anything else to do.
Surely he'll listen to my story about play group after he finishes reading the phone book.

#4: There is food around.
He definitely won't be concentrating on my critique of my Book Club book if he is eating.

#3: It is daylight.
If the sun is out, you can bet he is not listening to me as closely as I'd like.

#2: He is within earshot.
If he can hear me, you can bet he's not hanging on my every word.


*My husband helped me come up with this list.

**It is a joke.

***Not really.