Remember the turkeys at Halloween this year
Doesn't anyone think about the turkeys at all during this week before Halloween? Does anyone ever wonder if they are able to enjoy this week of candy eating and trick-or-treatin' knowing that in just a few short weeks their heads are going to be HISTORY?? All of you are either frantically trying to decide what your little JJs, Jimbos, Ginas and JoJos are going to be this year OR you are trying to get the details of your costume all in line. At the end of the day, it all comes down to you, you, you.
DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK ABOUT THE BLASTED TURKEYS?!?!
Every grown-up turkey alive in America today will be preparing for their upcoming demise or the mourning the demise of a loved one on the inside while trying to smile on the outside for the sake of little turkeys this Halloween week. It is a sad state of affairs, you wretched carnivores. Turkeys are generous and selfless birds and want nothing more than their children to pounce all over the place dressed as Groucho Marx without a care in the world on October 31st. It is amazing how mama turkeys can tow their little turkey tots in their swagger wagons to this festival, that party and this pumpkin patch with so many stories of loved ones and friends weighing on their minds. Terry Turkey once told me a story that went a little something like this:
I'll stop the story right there, friends. You don't need to know anymore of the horrid details. I just felt compelled to share the turkey point-of-view with you this week, as their story often goes untold. Remember them. Remember them. I'm not asking you to forego your turkey at the table this Thanksgiving (I won't be!!!!! Where's mah nahf??) but, for the love of all things that taste like Pepto Bismol, let the Turkeys bob the heck out of some apples in peace this Halloween, would you? Let them enjoy this last holiday with their families. Put down your forks and knives. If it's not too much trouble, toss them a reeeeeeeeeal nice chocolate-y treat if you see one gobble-gobble-gobblin' in your neighborhood.