I should be ashamed of myself...

Do child labor laws apply if the children are the ones who started the business? I mean, people don't run around arresting kids at their lemonade stands, right? I'm trying to get this straight, because the last thing I need to do is bail my kids out of jail. We don't have the extra money for that and my oldest son has a spelling test on Friday.

 

Feeling confident you won't turn me in to the POlice, I am going to tell you about their three businesses. My little entrepreneurs are putting me to shame. They are able to hold down three jobs while also keeping their rooms completely messy. I don't know how they manage to get it all done.

 

The names and details of their businesses:

 

MASSAGE THE PERSON

(A business specializing in neck and back massages)

COST: $4 for 10 minutes (10 minutes = 30 seconds. They get tired fast).

WHERE: They travel all over the world- China, Louisiana, etc. They will come to your house and they will get there on their scooters.

EXTRAS: They'll give you anything you want to drink or to eat while you get a massage, including turkey & dressing (I asked)

CONTACT: They have no phone. So, you'll just have to leave a message in the comment section below if you're interested in an appointment.

 

 

FAMILY ROCK

(A business specializing in cutting chunks of sand the owners mistakenly call "rocks" using sticks. Both items are found at the construction sites of tons of homes their parents drag them to in an effort to find a house. All the owners really do is chisel down the rocks into tiny pieces while people watch in amazement. Think blacksmith or glass blowing shops, except with sand and sticks.)

 

COST: Sometimes $5, sometimes free and sometimes $55.99. It really depends on how the owners are feeling at that particular moment.

 

WHERE: Their cutting rock show is set up in the back of their mom's SUV. At any given time, there are tons of sand chunks in the back of the SUV that the owners have snuck in from construction sites. With a simple push of a button, the back SUV gate lifts and the show will commence.

 

EXTRAS: The owners say they cut rocks for birthday parties, too. So, if you and your kid want to watch sand rocks get chiseled into nothingness, contact them for a birthday party. I can only imagine that their calendar is filling up quickly.

 

CONTACT: They have no phone. (See Massage The Person.) Again, if you are interested in their services, you'll just have to leave a comment below.

 

PHOTOGRAPHY

Now, this business has not been officially set up. The owner is my 4-year-old and he has just been too busy with playdates to get a website figured out. Rest assured, he is completely professional. If you arrive for a photo shoot, do not be surprised if the photographer comes to your waist and tells you where to stand and place your hands. To make it easier to decide whether or not he should be the one you call for your Christmas photos this year, take a look at some of his work:

 

This one is one of his abstract photos. He actually specializes in abstract photos, so be prepared for your Christmas card to show a close up of your right ear lobe and that's it. It will surely be hit in all of your circles. Please do pass on his name.

 

 

 

This is one of his really famous road photos. Just like a snowflake...you guessed it....they're all different. This is mainly due to the car's speed, of course, but it's also a result of my son's eye for beauty. Don't you love how he's captured a glimpse of blue in the corner while also managing to get in so much concrete? It takes my breath away. Why haven't you booked your appointment with him yet?

 

 

This, perhaps, is his most famous work yet. It was featured in the Mom Shaming movement over at The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva today. You can find more like this one over there, as well as on the Blogging While Mom facebook page that you can find here. If you have one to add, link it up on that Facebook page. The gallery over there will make you laugh!

While I am shaming myself, I must say that I feel worse for having him take a picture of a sign that he can't read yet and that the sign was about me selling him out in the book department on top of that. I usually do read the entire book to him, but some of them are just too dingdang long. I had my artist friend, Jenny Hinkle, create a graphic about the experience of reading your child an extra long book that you can find here.

(Anybody with me on the book thing?)

Back to the businesses, if you are interested in an appointment with Massage The Person, Family Rock or a photo session, please let me know in the comment section below. We will do our best to accommodate your schedule.