"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" and me

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I have often wondered if the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" (ICBINB) marketing logo would work for other products, like milk, eggs or meat.  My mind must've been reeling over these possibilities at about the same time as the top executives over at the ICBINB headquarters were thinking about it, because JUST YESTERDAY I received a call from them asking ME to reveal the next phase in their business plan to the entire world.  The entire stinkin' world! 

I am so excited.

The really cool thing for you is that you will know what is REALLY in the products before they even hit the shelves in a few months.  It will be up to you if you want to let anyone else know.  See?  There are some amazing advantages to reading this blog!




The "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" group will put a few new products on the shelves starting April 1st that will include:



That's because it's not!  It's water, chalk dust and milk flavoring!


Technically, these ARE eggs, but not from the chicken.  These are really little platypus eggs, but...who cares?  No one will know except us!

Everyone knows that everything "tastes like chicken". So, the ICBINB decided to give the chickens a break and go with straight-up aardvark!





Weeds!


These are all soooooo tempting, right??

So, yeah, I'm so happy to be partnering with the ICINB people.  I'm very glad they are expanding their product line, as the thought over them just sticking with "not butter" gave me extreme anxiety each time I went to the grocery store in the past.  It won't be long and I will be handing out samples at every Costco in the country of the delicious products above. I'll be right next to the lady handing out samples of Juicy Juice and taquitos. She's my sidekick and her name is Merle.

(Mention that you saw this post and Merle and I will give you a sample of wine from our stash and tons of coupons for dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.)


26 people eligible for free Pepto Bismol:

Val said...

How about those Kraft Singles? I Can't Believe It's Not Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food!

Lady Estrogen said...

No! Not platypus eggs!?!
Anything but that!
Hahaha.

Jane said...

Lol, finally some truth in advertising!!

Christian at Point Counter-Point Point Point said...

Butter should start a campaign using the slogan "I can't Believe It's Not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"

mariposa17 said...

kelley, maybe they should contact you to come up with products for "if you like "obsession perfume" then you will love...."

miss you sista!

Crystal Pistol said...

Dino chicken nuggets are delicious with ketchup. ;)

Eva Gallant said...

How about, "I can't believe they're not silicone?"

Shell said...

Aardvark? Yum. LMAO

Lazarus said...

Awesome!

Lazarus said...

Awesome!

SoMo Mom said...

Sweet! I've always wanted to try aardvark! I'll be the one who's kids will be touching all of the samples in the I can't believe it's not chicken line. See you then!

Cindi said...

LoL! Thanks for the laughs Kelley. I love how your creative mind works. LoL

Natalie said...

Ha ha oh my this is hilarious!

Shelly said...

Too many I Can't Believe It's Not.. these days, whether those words are in the title or not. Tell them we want natural, please!

In Real Life said...

Hee Hee! I hope the ICBINB people are paying you the big bucks for this campaign! Brilliant! :)

RaShelle Workman said...

LOL - I can't believe it. How cool!! *giggles*

Miss Melicious said...

Bahaha! I've been waiting to try Aardvark!

Emmy said...

Lol! Yea, not so sure how often I would buy those other products

Julie said...

Oh yeah.

Aardvark, platypus and chalk water in the crockpot set to low for eight hours...

I can't believe it's not dinner!

My Inner Chick said...

Kelley,
I may buy a few "I can't beieve" items, but -Never-

"I can't believe it's not Chocolate.

Haaaaaa.... NEVER. Xx

Insomniac #4 said...

I think McDonald's has cornered the market on 'I Can't Believe It's Not Chicken'...remember when they advertised that their nuggets were "now made with 100% white meat"? Well WTF were they made with before?!?!?

I would definitely try some I Can't Believe It's Not Field Greens though. And I'll look for you and Merle next time I'm at Costoco! :)

Ali - My Suitcase Full of Tricks said...

You are so crazy! How do you come up with this stuff? I absolutely can't eat I cant believe it's not butter. Ick!

AudreyO said...

My mom uses this product and I actually don't care for it. I'm not sure who named it but believe me I can tell, I know every single time I visit my mom :)

Kimberly said...

I can't believe that this came out of your head...
But I can...
Cause you're hilarious.
I was actually drooling over the butter commercial. DROOLING. I don't care if it isn't butter, I want to eat the shit out of that tub.
Gah..gallbladders suck

Peiji said...

lol my mom uses this and I'm not exactly sure
what she uses it for to be honest >>

I used them for baking once...
can't remember how they turned out

Peiji said...

and OH my goodness, have you ever tried
that stuff with toasted bread and sprinkle some
sugar on top? it's delicious I tell you!
My mom used to make it when I was little :p
you should try it ;p

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