SILLY contraBANDZ

Share

Pin It

I was at the mall earlier in a very nice suburb and saw a kiosk right beside in the indoor children's playground selling

"SILLY CONTRABANDZ"! 

I immediately covered my children's eyes, as right there next to the kiosk selling actual bracelets shaped like guitars, flamingos and toucans was a kiosk selling:

*Glittery guns with silencers

*Joyful looking stuffed animals jammed with addictive substances

*Figurines of illegal immigrants telling joke after joke after joke after joke in an unfamiliar language.  For a bit extra, you can buy a windowless toy van.

*Shanks in various bright & cheerful colors

*A Monopoly game with actual counterfeit money
(Note: they won't let you open the package before buying it.  You're not going to pull one over on those hustlers.)

*Gift wrapped cell phones already postmarked for local prisons

*Caged endangered animals, including the mantled howler monkey, Tasmanian forester kangaroo and the gray wolf

*Mexican prescription drugs in a sweet looking pink piggy bank

The list goes on...  Unbelievable!  Apparently you can buy your own franchise and set up shop wherever you'd like.  I am thinking of opening a MOBILE franchise i an ice cream truck.  "After you commit a crime, it's ice cream time!" will be my business motto.  Also, if you are not already convinced, the benefits package is irresistible.   If I am not mistaken, you get up to a few years off for vacation...in your local prison. 

Sign me up!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On to other business...

#1  My post Top 5 Reasons For My Gym Anxiety is being featured over at the blog "Laugh Out Loud: The Best of the 'Sit Down' Comedians" site today.  If you haven't read it yet, click on the link, read it and giggle...or not.   Just don't tell me if you are disgusted when you finish reading it, 'mmmkay?

#2  Here are my top 5 favorite definitions from my Captcha Balderdash post yesterday:

PAJAMA MONOLOGUES defined DUELSOS this way... 

'Dueleso' which of course is derived from the French, meaning 'Dueling lesson'. If you get shot then the ending changes slightly since you likely will need medical attention so it becomes "dueleSOS".

IN THE SHORT ROWS defined PREGRAY this way...

My word was pregray....defined as the time period in which one still has their original hair color, before the inevitable signs of aging. :-)

GIVE ME PAWS defined BETRITI this way...

I kinda want a Mexican Martini. Oh, but the bellini sounds so good too! Maybe just a Margarita? Oh Hell, it's gonna be a long night, why hold back? Let's just go with Betritis all around!!

SUZROCKS defined MONIHOST this way...

A virulent, deadly, bloodletting strain of the monicer virus, out of South Africa. Named after its host whose name was Monica.

PIN TO KONAI! defined scropsy this way:

Some children can get scropsy if you don't lavish them with constant attention.

I looooooooooooooooved the definitions!  They made me laugh out loud fo' real!  Thanks so much for participating in my silly little game. :)