Carpet-eating iguanas for rent
All of this carpet talk for me began just a few moments ago when I posted my new Resolve jingle on my Facebook page that went a little something like this:
(Pssst...if Vanilla Ice or any representative from Resolve is reading this...please contact me ASAP so we can get this commercial on-air). The problem is, the chemical doesn't always dissolve it. That is why I am having a carpet cleaning service come tomorrow.
Hi, Carpet Cleaning duo [it's always a sweaty man & his wife that comes by], please come in. I see that you are completely drenched in oil from swimming in my front yard! You look like a couple of those pelicans I've seen on the news. Hahahahaha! Man, that's awful. Seriously. As if the oil wasn't enough, since you were here last, my sons asked to play in the dirt outside. Since it was so hot, I told them to fill up several large buckets [read: backhoes] and dump them in the middle of the carpet. They really wanted to make mudpies and since I let them do whatever they want, I told them how to feed the waterhose through the livingroom window. I also asked them to find some nice neighborhood animals that needed a litter box. After that, the kids, the animals and I decided it would be fun to fingerpaint on the carpet as well. We then had a mustard, ketchup and relish fight. Hahahahaha!! I hope this job isn't too big for you two lovebirds. Hahahahahahahaha!!! Come on in!I really wish I could have Mr. & Mrs. Sweaty Man stand in my coat closet. It would be awesome to have them come out with their machines and solutions whenever I needed. I would've bought one of those Kirby's when the sneaky little farts were in my house demonstrating it's wonderful powers for three hours straight last time, but the funds were low then, too. My 5-year-old had just been fired from his job.
Yo necesito una iguana grande ahora!
P.S. I never had indoor/outdoor carpet in my garage.